First Day in Germany

Omg…I didn’t realize how helpless I am in a foreign country. It’s really kind of intimidating at the beginning. I was so stupid that I didn’t buy an adaptor in the US, so now I have to use a public computer to write this blog entry. Nonetheless, so far the people I’ve met are quite nice. This 7-feet tall German living across my room can speak fairly well English, and my other flatmates and my co-workers are extremely friendly, which is comforting after such a long journey (well, not very long, but feels long), jetlag, not to mention the loneliness in a foreign country. The most difficult thing is that I have no money to use right now, as the exchange rate here is better than in the states but the extra fee can cost quite a fortune. Therefore it's only worth it if I change a large amount of money at a time. But my extremely nice mentor let me borrow 50 euros, and hopefully it can last for a week (need to be very frugal here).

~"一個人的生命力和精神, 往往會在歷史留下深深的印象."

Reflection on my passport app.

I feel really upset about the whole passport application process, but there is enough complaining about the inefficiency and whining. I hope what happened in the past two weeks will serve as a reminder for me in the future. When I encounter hardships, I should think about what are some available resources and how I can best utilize them—it’s a spirit of “healing a dead horse as if it were alive,” a traditional Chinese saying. In essence, I prepare for the worst but at the same time try to do my best in the time that’s given. Furthermore, I should think more and ask more to get a more complete picture of the situation and its background. Sunzi already said over 1,000 years ago, that victory can only be achieved after we first understand our enemy. This will help me, at least, reach a decision that’s based on careful reasoning.

Anyway, I have learned a great deal about Americans and their culture in the past two weeks. It doesn’t matter whether I like them or not; what’s more important is that I have learned the way they interact and do business, which inspires in me some thoughts about my future, the way by which I should behave among people, and about the current state of the world.

這該怎麼解釋呢? 我自己也不曉得...總覺得當兩個人關係到一定程度後, 常常也是該分離的時候. 這個物極必反的道理, 似乎百試不厭.

Friendship

Sometimes I like to think life just snatches your childhood friends for no reason, but I don't always believe it.

Absoluteness

The words "must " and "have to," either subconsciously or purposefully, have occupied my mind since I was a little boy. I really didn't remember under whose influence have I developed such a thinking mode, which sometimes motivates a person, but most of the time just brings disappointments.

It's torturous to live under the concept of "must." The more we want to possess, the less we own myself. The moon hanging on the sky is sometimes bright like a mirror, sometimes obscure, sometimes it's perfectly round, and sometimes her face is veiled. People laugh, cry, be together, and then separate. Nothing follows our expectation in full extent. All we can do, is to try to shorten the distance between what is ideal and what we can actually do, and try not to care about the end result. Of course everybody wants to win, but we all know when two teams compete with each other, one must lose. Life itself is like a game; if we want to delve into the game, then we must have the courage to face failures, to walk away with our heads held high.

It's painful to live the word "must." Of course we should all try our best and be ambitious, but I guess if everybody does not have that much expectation, then life should be simpler and happier.

價值

人對生命的價值要把持住, 千萬不要隨波逐流, 為他人而活, 包括父母在內, 因為這樣的生活實在是太辛苦了. 每個人都有自己獨特的一面, 應該仔細思考如何活出自己的風格, 培養自己的思想.

I have wasted four out of seven days of reading periods. Theoretically I could have done a lot of things because after all I have only two finals for which I really need to prepare. However, here is what I've achieved for the last four days: review some QM and EM for physics, and review some developmental bio and immunology for biochem. That's it, that's all what I have done for the past 24*4= 96 hours. What have I done when I was not studying? Well...besides going to the very long study break on Wednesday night....I don't really have any clues. Here is the scary part! If I knew where I had spent my time I would feel a bit better, but I don't even know how I spent my time?

Lack of motivatoin seems to be a real threat for me right now. No kidding...I am not exaggerating by the term "threat." You know once you lost the focus it's extremely difficult to regain the same kind of spirit that pushes you and motivates you through hardships. I guess the reason why I performed so well for the past two semesters was that I was so sick of my bad grades during my first 1.5 years at Yale. So I decided to study hard and show people what I am capable of.

有信仰才有力量

Anyway, I think it was a great play today by Mavericks. The reason why I love the Game so much: sometimes you just need to accept what’s given to you and attack with confidence. The defenders are going to throw many things to you that you don’t like, and it’s the same with life. I feel like 90% of our life really sucks; disappointment comes one after another. So it’s really up to us how we want to live it. The Game has taught me one thing: impossible is nothing and we all need to believe in ourselves. Although the darkness is falling, somehow we all need to believe that good things will eventually happen, that there are something in the world that are worth fighting for.

Now I really appreciated what the blind patient in the hospital said to me—many things we can not change, so the only thing we can do is to change ourselves.